Why me?
by Zentin
Summary: Alan wasn't expecting it. Neither did his family. But when a terrible diagnosis becomes reality, it changes his life forever, it is almost the standard question for one to ask "Why me?" But in asking why, maybe we do not see that the million raindrops that fall help things become more beautiful.


Author's Note: I do not own the Thunderbirds.

Summary: Alan wasn't expecting it. Neither did his family. But when a terrible situation becomes reality changing his life forever, it is almost the standard question for one to ask "Why me?" But in asking why, maybe we do not see that the million raindrops that fall, help things become more beautiful.

In a private room, cut off from the busyness of the rest of Springfield Medical Center, in Massachusetts, two people were alone as they thought about the terrible news that had just been given to them. The first was a boy looking to be around fourteen or fifteen who sat upon a hospital bed, his ankle was wrapped in a soft cast which remained elevated on a chair. His long blond hair was a mess and his sky blue eyes watered as if he were about to cry which made his facial expression look even more down cast, sad, fearful, and a number of other unpleasant emotions as he reflected over the news that he just received. Sitting in a chair across the room, an older man of around the age of forty, his brown hair lightly streaked with gray, wearing square shaped wire framed glasses, and having the same blue eyes as the boy, held his hands clasped over his knees as he looked down toward the ground.

The older man clearly distressed for the younger boy, uncertain of what to say before he finally sighed and looked up at the boy saying, "Alan, I know you are overwhelmed and I can't imagine what you are feeling right now, but I need you to talk to me."

Taking a shaky breath, Alan let the first of his tears fall since they received the news and replied, "Uncle Jay...what am I going to do? How will I tell Dad and the guys! They'll flip!" 

Jason sat there for a moment and sighed as he asked, "Do you want me to tell them instead?"

"I-...I- can't!" Alan said as he burst into grieving sobs and Jason walked over and sat beside his nephew on the bed, and took the teen's hand and began rubbing it slowly as Alan repeated what the doctor said earlier, trying to comprehend the news, trying to connect what he was feeling emotionally to what he was feeling physically.

"I have Osteosarcoma, a type of bone cancer that has formed tumors in my legs that...requires amputation." His voice cracked through his tears, and he turned to his uncle and asked desperately, "This is real, isn't Uncle Jason? I have to start chemotherapy right away, and I'll have to quit track and basketball and everything! Uncle Jason what am I going to do?! "

Grabbing the boy's face gently and making the young blond look into his eyes, Jason spoke in a firm, assuring tone, "Alan...look at me..." and he then got on his knees and tenderly squeezed his nephew's shoulders, "I can't promise everything will be fine. I can only promise I'll be right here with you, but I need to know how I can help. What do you want me to do?"

Broken, the boy simply wrapped his arms around his uncle,"I-...please hold me..."

Rubbing the teen's back, and comforting the brokenhearted boy, "Shh...it's going to be okay. We just have to take it one day at a time..."

In a small voice, Alan sounded much like a young child as he sobbed into his uncle's jacket, "Uncle Jason," He held onto the older man like a lifeline, his voice broken in grief, "I just got Dad to accept me, and for the first time I've felt I got his approval, this happens! With this, I can't even be a Thunderbird anymore!"

"Alan, listen to me..., " Jason looked into the teen's eyes, and gave a firm look that silenced the blond from speaking any more. He then grasped Alan's shoulders and again forcing the boy to look at him,"Your Dad loves you, even if you can't be a Thunderbird, even if you can't be part of International Rescue. It's not that you are part of the family business that makes you special to him, it's because you're his son." Jason pulled his youngest nephew into a hug and wrapped his arms around the boy who now seemed so fragile, and with each word he continued to speak, Jason assured the teen of how loved he was, " You're special because you are my nephew! You're special because you have four older brothers that would move heaven and earth for you! You are special because you have a heart for those in need, for people who are hurting! You are special because you would risk your life for your friends! Think about what you did when the Hood invaded the island. You proved yourself over and over again under immense amount of pressure and you saved your entire family! But most of all, you are a child of God whom He loves so dearly he laid his life down for you! So don't _ever_ think that because of this that you are not special!"

With his uncle's comforting words, Alan bawled and wept into his uncle's arms for several minutes until he began to feel exhausted, all tired out from the emotional upheaval. It had been a long day.

Jason had been visiting from Pittsburgh for a conference dealing with his church and took the chance to see one of his nephew's track meets, but Alan had tripped and fell during one of the events, breaking his ankle. When they arrived at the hospital, Jason grew concerned when what should have been a simple fix turned into several hours of tests and further examination.

Jason had notified Alan's father about what had happened, but Jeff had been part of a rescue so he wasn't available, and wouldn't find out about the situation until he got back, so Jason stayed with Alan while they waited for news. However, considering this, even though Alan and Jason had been at the hospital all day, neither were expecting a cancer diagnosis, but after hours and hours of waiting, Dr. Morrison had given the worst news possible.

They had discovered that Alan had major tumors that had grown within not just his broken leg, but his uninjured leg, both beneath his knees. Dr. Morrison, the oncologist on duty, upon examining the x rays, believed there was no way to save Alan's legs. The tumors were simply far too large for them to attempt a partial removal. Alan would need his legs removed or else the cancer would continue to spread.

Jason held onto his nephew, until the boy was fast asleep. After he was assured that the teenager was all tired out and fully asleep, he laid the boy down on the exam table, and quietly stepped outside. As Jason did so, he turned to see Dr. Morrison. He was a tall man with copper red hair, a freckled face, brown eyes, and a neatly trimmed full beard. He was looking down at his PDA writing some notes regarding the results of Alan's diagnosis. Looking up as he saw Jason, the kind doctor smiled reassuringly and asked, "Is he alright?"

Jason shook his head, and he nervously rubbed the back of his neck, his eyes depressed and downcast as he answered the oncologist, "He's fallen asleep on his bed. I have no idea how I am going to tell his father about this, or worse, his brothers. They'll be absolutely devastated."

The doctor nodded in understanding, the circumstances that Alan faced were far too familiar for him as he had seen hundreds of other patients experience the same difficult diagnosis, "I am impressed though. You are certainly taking this much better than most family members I've seen. I've watched you the entire time you've been here. You've been nothing but encouraging and completely calm."

Laughing slightly, Jason looked into exam room's door window that allowed him to quietly observe his nephew, "Well, I am a professional counselor and a pastor, so facing tragedies of those in my congregation, my own family, and myself, I understand what healthy grieving is and how to handle it." but he looked to the side and his gaze became shadowed, "That doesn't mean that I'm not sad, I am just not afraid. God will be with us, of that I have no doubt."

Nodding to the pastor, knowing full well in affirming that faith in God really did help those going through difficulty, "Amen to that. So are you a pastor here in Massachusetts?"

Jason smiled, his mind considering the distance he had traveled, "No, I'm actually from Pittsburgh." causing the doctor's eyes to widen in surprise.

The pastor laughed, "Yeah, I know. It's a twelve hour drive all the way. I had a conference for my church over in Boston, but decided to swing by and surprise Alan and a close family friend at Wharton's Boarding School. If we had known that Alan was going to be here all day, Fermat would have been here, but we honestly didn't think it was anything particularly serious beyond the broken ankle, so he stayed behind."

His eyes became downcast again, and Jason continued his explanation, "I had no idea that it was something as bad as an advanced form of cancer. That was not something anything anybody was expecting."

Dr. Morrison nodded, his face grim and his voice forlorn as he questioned the unfairness of what Alan now had to face, "To face such a daunting condition at his age, it doesn't seem fair...I've often wondered why even people so young have to face these type of things when they should be living life as it should be lived."

Jason answered in complete assurance and without any worry at all, "Fair or not, tragedy visits us all eventually, and often when we least expect it, but as long as I'm alive I will be there to support him and his family as I've always done. That's all I can do, that's all I know how to do, and that is the thing that will make all the difference for them."

The good doctor smiled at that response and replied, "Wise words..."

The brown haired pastor watched Alan in his sleep, "I prefer not to worry about things that I cannot control...I only try to worry about what I can do to help. Alan is so full of energy and life, and with him going through all of this will no doubt change him and his family forever. I want to make sure that they get through this stronger than ever."

The oncologist showed nothing but empathy for his patient's situation,"I'm so sorry that you and your family having to go through this. I promise we will do all that we can to provide the best treatment possible. Please notify us of anything that we can do to be of service."

The pastor nodded and assured the doctor that he would let Jeff know as soon as he could, "I will pass that along, and thanks so much Dr. Morrison. We'll be in touch, but I have to know..." and his

voice lowered as he asked, "...is amputation really the only option?" It was a desperate question, but Jason's calm demeanor regarding Alan's situation remained strong. However, it was only natural to ask if there was an alternative to amputation.

Dr. Morrison's expression became grim and shook his head, "There is nothing we can do. The tumors have grown and spread into not only his nerves, but also into a nest of blood vessels that are essential for the workings of his leg. Limb-salvage surgery would be useless in maintaining functioning."

Alan's uncle looked on confused, "But I don't get how Alan could have not noticed anything wrong, surely he would have felt some pain or something unusual!"

The red haired doctor answered unsurprised by the question, "I am actually not surprised that Alan didn't notice the tumors up until this point. Given his active lifestyle it is understandable that he didn't notice any abnormal pain that he could explain away."

"What do you mean?" the brown haired pastor looked even more confused before the oncologist began explaining further.

"Often it is with high grade osteosarcomas, the more common and malignant form of bone tumors, most people before being diagnosed think it's only muscle soreness or growing pains. These tumors mostly affect kids and teenagers that are going through rapid growth spurts. Sometimes the worst symptom when it manifests in the lower extremities is a limp and the enlarging of the bone in question which can happen for a number of reasons. There's no sickness, no fever, nothing that anyone would associate with cancer." As Alan's doctor explained in detail, Alan not noticing anything particularly wrong before hand now made sense.

Dawning realization appeared on Jason's bespectacled face, "And with Alan doing track he probably thought it was just pain from doing so much running."

Dr. Morrison nodded confirming the probability of they hypothesis, "It can be rather sneaky. It's usually only when one breaks a bone when we are able to identify it or the person realizes the pain is unusual for their level of activity. There is no doubt if he hadn't broken his ankle, we wouldn't have discovered this until it started to metastasize elsewhere in the body, like near his vital organs, which I don't think I need to tell you it would be a lot worse, or the tumor would have caused a much more painful break in his leg near where the tumors are as they continued to grow causing the bone to become brittle." At the mention of the cancer spreading to Alan's vital organs, Jason shuddered, not wanting to think about the deadly and or painful consequences that could have affected his nephew.

Moving on from that subject, Jason continued in a different direction, treatment after the surgery."Will he have to have chemotherapy after the surgery?"

The oncologist nodded, "Normally, if I was more confident in our ability to contain the tumors, we would start a chemotherapy regimen, and try to get it from being non-resectable to resectable, meaning removable through surgery, and then cut it out and then replace the parts of the limb removed with metal implants. This is called limb salvage surgery. Since there is no way that we can do that, considering the cancer has spread throughout half of both of his lower legs, after the amputation we'll have to get started on the chemotherapy to clear out any spread of the cancer throughout his body... we can then discuss that in more detail when Alan's father gets here."

Rubbing his neck again, the pastor sighed as he thought about Alan's situation and then nodded, and not only did Jason have to call Jeff, he had to call his wife about the news as well. Alan's Aunt Maria would definitely want to be up here to support Alan, and she could notify the rest of the extended family, knowing Jeff and the boys wouldn't be able to while Jason helped Jeff and the boys cope. "And Alan will be staying the night?"

The red haired doctor nodded, "It will probably be for the best... it will give us time for the rest of your family to get here as they learn the news."

Giving the man a tired smile, Jason shook the oncologist's hand, his voice beginning to shake with emotion,"Thank you Doctor. I...I can't thank you enough for helping us..." and with that Dr. Morrison smiled.

"It is my pleasure. Again, I am so sorry that this happened to your family and to Alan. He is in good hands here at Springfield. We will do whatever we can to help Alan recover." and with that the good doctor left to check on his other patients, leaving Jason alone with his thoughts.

Sitting down in a chair, Jason let out another exhausted sigh, and pulled out his phone, and as he speed dialed his brother-in-law, he prayed, "God, please be with us..."

* * *

Thousands of miles away, on a tropical island in the Pacific, about two hundred miles south west of Hawaii was the secret home of the famous multi-billionaire Jeff Tracy, the private island hidden from the intrusive eyes of the press and other unwanted individuals. With its white sand beach, aquamarine ocean, stunning coral reefs that went for miles, spectacular sunsets, and a jungle covered mountain, the fifteen square mile island could quite possibly be the perfect vacation spot if it was open to the public. Unfortunately for common folk, the search for the perfect vacation spot would have to continue, as the island held more secrets underground than just being the home for a reclusive billionaire.

Jeff Tracy had bought the island from the American military. It had been a decommissioned military base that consisted of a few runways for planes that were being launched back in WWII against Japan. With cutbacks during the recession of the mid to late 2000's, the island was put up for sale. Since it wasn't used very often, and there were longer runways elsewhere in Hawaii and Guam, no one objected to the famous American billionaire buying it. With that being said, and given its history, it became the perfect location for launching International Rescue, as the military had been more than gracious to disclose information regarding the hidden caves beneath. They were perfect underground launch silos.

It was in those underground caves that the other members of the Tracy family had just returned from a rescue in Zimbabwe, and now were doing the routine post rescue maintenance of the Thunderbirds. Alan's father, Jeff Tracy looked up from some schematics regarding Thunderbird Two, noting Brain's assessment regarding one of the jet engines, and called out to his oldest son, "Scott, how are those repairs going on Thunderbird One?"

Scott Tracy, a tall, brown haired young man of twenty six with the same blue eyes as his youngest brother sighed as he wiped off some engine grease in a towel, as he stood back from the large rocket jet combination of the first of the Thunderbird rescue vehicles."They're going...but it will be a couple of days, if not weeks before we finish. Brains realized that maybe it's time for an upgrade on her engine systems, and wants to make her faster and even more maneuverable now that we have a reason to actually strip her bare. I can't believe that the jets are fried!"

Laughing slightly, the second youngest son, Gordon who had been working with Scott grinned in a teasing manner at his older brother,"Well, considering how much we've been using Thunderbird One lately, it's no surprise that the wear and tear was finally beginning to show. You're just mad that you won't be able to fly your bird'!"

Taking his prankster of a brother's jab in stride, the oldest brother and pilot of Thunderbird One, laughed, "Guilty! It's just not right for her to be left in such a state!"

Further conversation had been stopped when the familiar ring tone of their Dad's cell phone echoed throughout the caverns, all three completely unaware of the horrible news that they were about to receive. Picking up his phone, the father and commander of International Rescue silenced his sons while he took the call, "Hold on a sec boys! My cell's ringing...Jeff Tracy here!"

Jason answered his tone short and to the point, but this was unnoticed by the Tracy patriarch, "Jeff, it's me."

Jeff smiled, "Jason! How are you doing? How's your visit going at Wharton's? How did Alan do at his track meet today?"

Despite the geographical distance, Jason was the official chaplain for International Rescue. As a pastor and counselor, Jason was more than qualified to help in this manner of the family business, and he was almost always available to talk, hence the reason he was so close to the family. Jeff and the boys would all go to him for dealing with some of the traumatic incidents during rescues. It was him and Kyrano who made up the strong emotional and spiritual support structure, and Jeff knew that International Rescue would be nowhere near as effective without either of them.

When Jeff first came up with International Rescue, it was Jason who immediately volunteered himself, saying it was absolutely necessary for Jeff and the boys to take care of themselves not just physically, but psychologically and spiritually. Jason handled therapy and was trained in a type of support known as post traumatic crisis care management, a type of counseling designed with first responders and military personnel in mind, while Kyrano always held a listening ear and incredible wisdom, maintaining his encouraging presence when something went wrong on a rescue or in daily life in general. Despite all the terrible and traumatic things that Jeff and his sons had seen on rescues around the world causing many would give up, it was really because of this supportive environment that International Rescue kept doing it with such effectiveness. For this reason, it was more than appropriate that Jason would be there to deliver the news of Alan's condition.

That being said, telling Jeff the bad news still didn't make it easy. Jason, by this point, had been struggling with his own emotions regarding this, and knew that he would have to take some time to be by himself later to process it. Taking a few deep breaths, Jason began breaking the news gently, "Jeff...I'm at the hospital with Alan right now."

Immediately, Jeff became concerned, and the Tracy patriarch started to worry with his brother-in-law's hesitant tone, "What? Why? What happened?"

"Did you get my message?"

The billionaire's eyes narrowed, completely confused with where this was going, "No...we just got back a half an hour ago, I haven't yet checked over my messages. We were just performing maintenance checks so I haven't gotten a chance."

The pastor sighed, and his voice once again became serious and to the point, "It's probably better that I tell you now because the situation is a lot more serious than what I originally told you, but you need to get over to Springfield Medical Center. _Now_."

Jeff Tracy felt fear and worry begin to grip his heart, and from his reactions his two sons were also becoming concerned from his tone, especially when Jeff asked, "Jason, please...what's wrong with my baby boy?"

"Jeff, you should probably sit down from what I am about to tell you..." Jeff felt his heart leap into his throat. This was very bad. Jason was in consultation mode, and the tone he used so many times before was extremely familiar to Jeff. It was the tone he had only seen the pastor use when Jason did a death notification as a chaplain. It was a tone that he himself or one of his sons used when they had to tell someone that they were unable to save their loved one on rescue. Whatever the situation was, it would be devastating for Alan and the family.

The pastor continued speaking clearly, but remaining calm about how serious the situation was, "Alan tripped and fell during his meet, and when he did, he broke his left ankle. I called you to let you know, and I authorized the medical treatment. However, when they did x-rays on Alan's leg..." and Jason took a deep breath steadying himself, "...they found that there were three osteosarcoma tumors in his left leg beneath his knee. They then proceeded to do more tests, and found that there were two more in his right leg in the same location. Dr. Morrison, Alan's assigned oncologist, has informed me that it is doubtful that at this stage, given the size and apparent malignancy of the tumors, that they can remove them safely through surgery."

For a moment, Jeff was unable to comprehend what his brother-in-law was saying, "Wait...what are you saying?"

Jason's voice began to break at this, "Jeff...they are going to have to...they are going to have to amputate **both** his legs...I'm so sorry." and Jason began choking back tears, the calm giving way to the emotions that he had been keeping back now fully apparent. Jason hated delivering this news, smashing his brother-in-law's heart. His family didn't deserve this!

Immediately, Jeff dropped his phone and began to hyperventilate. His son had cancer. His youngest son had cancer. His baby boy was going to lose his legs! He wouldn't be able to walk. He wouldn't be able to do track or basketball...the things that he loved to do would now be out of reach for him! His baby boy was hurting and he didn't know! He didn't know!

Running up to his dad, Scott shook his father's shoulder to get his attention, "Dad! Are you alright?!" When Jeff fell off the chair he was sitting in and collapsed on the floor, Scott turned to frightened form of his red headed brother and ordered, "Gordon, go get Virgil! He's having a panic attack!"

Hearing the commotion, Jason dried his tears and called out in concern,"Jeff! Jeff! Are you alright?!"

Picking up the phone, Scott spoke in panic on the phone while trying to calm his father down, who was now breaking down crying, "Uncle Jason! What did you tell dad?! He just started freaking out!"

Explaining carefully, Jason gripped tightly on his emotions, "Scott...calm down and listen...you guys need to get over to Springfield Medical Center right away... get John too...bring him down from Thunderbird 5..."

The oldest brother looked on frightened, "Uncle Jason? What's wrong with Allie? Please tell me!"

Jason sighed, "Alan...he needs you now...as soon as Jeff is able to travel...bring everyone over here. You need to come right away..."

"Uncle Jay...?"

The pastor's tone was foreign to the oldest of the Tracy sons. In all the years that Scott had known his uncle, he'd never heard him sound so barely in control of his own emotions. The calm cheerful man was hiding how devastated he was, "Just get over here as soon as you can. It's...not good...Alan couldn't tell you himself. He's very upset."

"But why? Uncle Jason, what's wrong?"

"I'm sorry Scotty...," and Scott felt his heart stop as his uncle told him the worst possible news, "Alan...Alan has cancer in his legs...and things are pretty bad by the looks of it. They're going to have to perform a double amputation." It was then Scott immediately burst into tears.


End file.
